If you have to ask, you probably need more. Signs of insufficient lube: feeling of friction/dragging, squeaking sounds, difficulty inserting, pain or burning sensation. A good rule: use twice as much as you think you need, then add a bit more. For reference, a session with a medium-sized dildo might use 1-2 tablespoons of lube, reapplied every 5-10 minutes. Better to have excess lube (which you can clean up) than not enough (which can cause injury).

Minor accidents can happen even with proper cleaning – that’s the reality of anal play. The rectum’s job is to hold waste, so trace amounts may be present. Ways to minimize: proper cleaning 1-2 hours before play, having a bowel movement first, using a condom on toys for easy cleanup, keeping towels handy, and maintaining perspective – it’s a natural bodily function. If accidents cause you significant distress, you might want to reconsider if anal play is right for you.

Frequency depends on intensity and your body’s recovery. For gentle play with small toys: 4-5 times weekly is usually fine with proper lubrication. For more intense sessions: 2-3 times weekly maximum. Your body needs recovery time – the rectal tissue is delicate. Signs you need more rest: soreness that lasts more than a day, irritation, decreased sensitivity. Listen to your body – it will tell you when it needs a break.

When practiced safely and reasonably, anal play does not cause incontinence or long-term damage. The anal sphincter is a muscle that, like any muscle, can stretch and return to normal. Problems arise from: using overly large toys too quickly, not using enough lube, ignoring pain, or using unsafe objects. The key is gradual progression and listening to your body. Many people engage in anal play for decades without issues by following safety guidelines.

Absolutely not. Numbing products are dangerous for anal play because pain is your body’s warning system. If you can’t feel pain, you can’t tell if you’re causing damage. This significantly increases your risk of tears, bleeding, and serious injury. If you feel pain, the solution isn’t to numb it – it’s to stop, use more lube, relax, or choose a smaller size. Any product containing benzocaine, lidocaine, or similar should be avoided for anal use.

Seek medical attention for: heavy bleeding that doesn’t stop, severe pain, signs of infection (fever, chills, pus), objects stuck that you can’t remove, persistent pain/discomfort lasting more than 48 hours, or any concerning symptoms. Be honest with your doctor – they’ve heard it all before, and they need accurate information to help you. Remember: doctors are concerned with your health, not judging your sexual practices.